


Forget Me Not

by HeartNever_Lies



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Hanahaki Disease, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-13
Updated: 2017-04-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 10:28:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10615026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HeartNever_Lies/pseuds/HeartNever_Lies
Summary: Kyungsoo was sick of coughing out Gardenias so he forgets Jongin.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written for Best Days of Our Lives Kaisoo Fest Round 2017.

❀❀❀

Jongin’s fingers tighten their grip on the bouquet of flowers he holds in his hands when he sees the figure of Kyungsoo approaching from the other side of the glass door.

 

 **Forget Me Not Flowers**  
_A mind wants to forget, but a heart will always remember._

 

He has been gifting these particular type of flowers to the other for months now, driven by his overwhelming emotions of longing and guilt, also overdue love.

 

“Good morning, sweetheart.” He greets. His face definitely lights up when he sees that Kyungsoo has spotted him, but a sharp pain in his chest quickly follows at the appearance of annoyance on the other’s features. 

 

“Oh. It’s you again.” Kyungsoo comes to a stop in front of him and glances down at the flowers. “When they said I had a delivery, I wasn’t expecting-- never mind.” He lets out a deep sigh. Jongin tries to keep his smile up, but it’s really hard when the elder all but snatches the bouquet from him. He waits patiently for Kyungsoo to say more because it looks like he was deliberating over something. 

 

_Say you remember me, hyung._

 

“I told you to stop didn’t I?” Kyungsoo finally lets out a deep sigh. Jongin pinches his eyes shut and bites down on his bottom lip in disappointment, hanging his head. “Why are you doing this to me? I don’t even know you. Is this your definition of fun? I don’t care what--” 

 

“But you do know me, Soo!” His eyes fly wide open as the other’s words register in his mind. “I’m Jongin.” He pats at his chest repeatedly, agitatedly. “I’m your best friend and you love--” 

 

“--I love you?” Kyungsoo cuts in coldly. “Yeah I got that part.” It was a story Jongin likes to tell whenever Kyungsoo confronts the man for following him and he is sick of hearing it, simply because he has no recollection of a relationship with the man before him. 

 

“Well, if I did love you, I’m sure there must be a good reason why I don’t anymore.” 

 

Jongin freezes on his spot. 

 

“Goodbye.” The elder spins around and walks away, leaving Jongin to stare helplessly after his retreating back. 

 

The tears finally come when he sees Kyungsoo dumping the bouquet of forget me not flowers in the nearest wastebin.

❀❀❀

**Pure was the memory of their childhood.**

 

“Catch me if you can, hyung!” Jongin erupts into a fit of giggles and dashes under the slide to wait for feet even smaller than his to appear in his line of sight. Playtime was so much fun, especially when it’s with his favourite person in the whole wide world.

 

When Kyungsoo finally does appear in all his huffing, puffing, sweaty glory, the ten-year old squeals and runs off again. 

 

“Kim Jongin!” Kyungsoo cries out and stomps his feet on his spot. “Slow down, I can’t run fast… My mum says I have something called asthma.” He breathes in deeply and leans forward with his hands on his knees. It had only been ten minutes from the time they had arrived at the playground, but already he feels winded. 

 

Kyungsoo plops down on the sandy ground; there’s no way he could keep up with the younger, more energetic boy. 

 

The eleven-year old doesn’t want to worry his mother, also because the constriction in his chest seems to be lightening up the more he stays still, so Kyungsoo doesn’t walk over to the other side of the playground where she would be waiting for him at a bench. 

 

“Jongin.” He calls out for the other from his position on the floor, but only silence greets him bar the screaming girls on the swings. Kyungsoo juts his bottom lip out into a pout. It felt incredibly lonely not having Jongin with him. “Jongin?” 

 

He gasps when a sudden thought comes to him. What if the younger had already left? Did Jongin not like him anymore because he wasn’t as fun as the other children their age? Kyungsoo’s eyes well up with tears and he sniffles into his two clenched fists at the emptiness bearing weight on his insides. 

 

And that’s how Jongin finds him a couple of seconds later -- Kyungsoo with his knees pulled up to his chest, tiny arms wrapped tight around himself, crying his heart out. 

 

The smile on the excited boy’s face had vanished when he had realised that his best friend wasn’t following after him. Even with his short legs and smaller build, Kyungsoo will _always_ find his way to him. Apparently, not this time because a minute has passed and yet there was still no sign of the other.

 

“Soo?” Jongin frowns and begins retracing his steps in worry. He doesn’t want to play anymore if Kyungsoo doesn’t. “Do you not want to play any-- Soo!” His eyes widen dramatically and he flies forward as soon as he rounds the corner to find his missing friend crying on the floor. 

 

Jongin wraps his arms around Kyungsoo at once. “Are you hurt, Soo? Don’t be scared, I’m here.” He finds himself bursting into tears as well at the thought of the other’s suffering. 

 

“Why didn’t you come when I called for you, Jongin?” Kyungsoo could barely be heard as he sniffles into the younger’s shoulder. “I thought you didn’t want to be my friend anymore.” He grabs onto the back of Jongin’s shirt tightly; Kyungsoo doesn’t think he would ever want to let go. 

 

The ten-year old leans his head against Kyungsoo’s and wipes the latter’s tears away before calming himself. “Kim Jongin will always want to be Do Kyungsoo’s friend.” He says firmly. “I’m sorry, Soo. I’ll never run away from you again.” Jongin promises. “Please don’t cry anymore. My heart will hurt too.”

 

Kyungsoo nods and pulls away from the other, drawing a sharp gasp from him.

 

“Oh look! You have a flower on your lap.” Jongin reaches down to pick up a dainty-looking white flower and shows it to the other. “It’s so pretty. Where did you get it?” He props the flower in his fringe and giggles. “Am I pretty, Soo?” Jongin bats his eyelashes cutely. 

 

Kyungsoo nods and blushes. “I don’t know where I got it.” He finally says. “It just appeared out of nowhere.” He could taste bitterness, almost a metallic taste, in his mouth, but he swallows it all down.

 

“A lucky find then.” The younger shrugs before he continues to play with it, delicately fitting it between strands of his hair. He looks so carefree and happy, Kyungsoo smiles at his best friend. 

 

“You keep it then, Jongin. Consider it my gift to you.” 

 

At age 11, Do Kyungsoo gives Kim Jongin his first Gardenia. 

 

 **Gardenia Flowers**  
_Maybe what they had wasn’t just friendship, but a love more intrinsic and a connection more genuine._

❀❀❀

**Reckless was the nightmare of their youth.**

 

“What the hell, Soo?” Jongin slams the door close on his way into the hotel room. “I heard from Chanyeol that you didn’t want to be my best man anymore?” He comes to a stop before the other who was sitting on the edge of the bed with his face buried in his hands. 

 

If only the younger concentrates, he would able to tell how shallow Kyungsoo’s breathing is. 

 

“Please tell me it’s a joke.” Jongin says through gritted teeth. He was angry, beyond plain pissed, that the elder had snubbed him at the last minute.

 

“He speaks the truth” comes Kyungsoo’s soft, resigned reply. He dares not look up for fear of crumbling when he meets Jongin’s eyes. He doesn’t know what to think knowing that the younger must have left his bachelor party early just to find him. “I won’t be able to attend your wedding tomorrow.” 

 

“And why is that? You’re my best friend, Soo--”

 

Best friend. That word again.

 

He coughs hard, but manages to muffle the sound by pressing his palm against his mouth. 

 

“--I don’t know why you hate Minah so much, but shouldn’t you be happy for me? I can’t fucking believe you!” Jongin yells so loud that Kyungsoo winces, but the latter soon feels a familiar itchiness building from the depth of his throat. His eyes widen in panic and he quickly turns away from the younger. _Oh no. Not now. Not in front of Jongin please._

 

“Are you not even going to explain yourself?” Jongin growls as Kyungsoo remains reluctant to break the silence. “Talk to me!” He grabs the other’s shoulders roughly and spins his body around, startling the elder into swallowing his struggles. The momentum he brings carries the both of them to tumble onto the bed. 

 

“Talk to me, Soo.” Jongin’s voice drops to a soft whisper as he props himself up above Kyungsoo’s body. “It’s like I don’t even know you anymore. You’ve been distant for months.”

 

It started half a year ago actually -- when Jongin had sprung the biggest surprise of his life on him. To this date, Kyungsoo still remembers the day vividly. 

 

He remembers Jongin pulling him aside at one of their dinner gatherings with the usual gang and telling him nervously that he’s getting married. 

 

He remembers smiling and congratulating his best friend despite the growing pain in his chest.

 

He remembers being rushed to the hospital by Chanyeol when he had collapsed at the entrance of the apartment they conveniently share because of its close proximity to their workplace. 

 

Kyungsoo remembers it all -- his unrequited love for his best friend he had safeguarded for multiple years, as well as the reason he is to die young. 

 

“It’s true that you don’t even know me, Jongin.” He can feel his eyes getting teary, and Kyungsoo hates that he’s appearing this weak and vulnerable in front of the other. But he knows that Jongin will not budge until he gets a satisfactory answer, so he decides to say his piece once and for all. “You go around saying that you’re my best friend, but you don’t see what we have surpasses that.” 

 

The younger opens his mouth to say something, only to remain silent when he feels he shouldn’t be interrupting Kyungsoo; that these were words that were difficult for the other to say, and now that he had finally gathered the courage to do so, Jongin shouldn’t be helping him build his walls again. 

 

“I can’t be happy for you, Jongin. Not when this marriage tears me up on the inside.” Kyungsoo lets his tears fall freely. “There’s this thing growing inside me.” He gestures his hand over a spot to the right of his heart. “It’s s-suffocating me.” The elder cries helplessly and takes in deep breaths. “When I see you two together-- I can’t breathe. It’s too sudden, you’re too young and it’s obvious you haven’t thought this through--” Kyungsoo feels Jongin’s body above his stiffening, but he quickly grabs onto the other’s face. 

 

“--more importantly, I’m upset that--” It’s here that he hesitates. 

 

“Why are you upset, Soo?” Jongin prompts him. The younger hasn’t pulled away, so in Kyungsoo’s eyes, that’s a good sign right? 

 

“--I’m upset that it isn’t me in her place. I love you, Jongin, and it’s killing me from the inside. Please help me.” He begs, voice cracking towards the end. Kyungsoo doesn’t know where he gathers all the courage to lean up and press a kiss to Jongin’s lips. 

 

But as quick as he had initiated it, the younger jerks back fast as well. 

 

“What are you doing, Soo?” Jongin hastily slides off the bed and stands at the foot, staring down at the heartbroken expression on Kyungsoo’s face. A moment of regret and sadness surfaces, but they pass soon. “This isn’t right.” The younger lifts his hand up to trace his lips with his fingers. “We’re friends right? I love you, but not in that manner.” Jongin takes a step back when the other props his upper body up with his elbows.

 

“J-Jongin. Please. Help me. It hurts.” Kyungsoo’s body is then wrecked by a bout of harsh coughs. 

 

“I need to go.” He averts his eyes and retreats to the door. 

 

“Don’t go, Jongin. Please. You promised to never--”

 

“I’m sorry, Kyungsoo.” Jongin interjects and steps over the threshold. He was gone the next second.

 

Jongin breaks his promise to never run away from Kyungsoo again.

 

A cry of the other’s name leaves Kyungsoo’s lips, right as he coughs up more than his hands could hold back. _Drip. Drop._ Red on the white sheets. He slumps down on the bed and struggles to keep his eyes open. The monster in him had grown too much, it left him breathless. Kyungsoo blinks and reaches out to touch the white petals mixed in with the blood. 

 

The sight was beautiful, as much as it brings an air of lethalness. 

 

11 years down the road, Do Kyungsoo gives up all his Gardenias for Kim Jongin.

❀❀❀

**Everlasting is to be their lifetime of realisation and happy endings.**

 

“You wanted to meet me, Jongin?” Chanyeol’s tall figure looms over the younger who he finds already seated in a small booth at the neighbourhood cafe they had agreed to meet in. His voice startles Jongin to stand before he quickly urges Chanyeol to settle down. “It’s been so long, about 11 years… How have you been?” 

 

“I’m f-fine. Let me get you a drink first.” Jongin digs for his wallet and fumbles with it; clearly he was really nervous about this meeting, but Chanyeol stops him with a warm, firm grip on his shaking hands. 

 

“How about we cut straight to the chase?” The elder says softly. “Clearly, it must be very important for your secretary to be so insistent I take time off my busy schedule to meet up with an old friend I haven’t spoken to in more than a decade.” There was a subtle accusation behind Chanyeol’s words, and it makes Jongin flinch. 

 

“Okay.” The younger says meekly, folding his hands one over the other and placing it on the edge of the table. Chanyeol waits for Jongin to say more, but he can read the hesitance in his eyes more than anything. 

 

“If you want to ask me about Kyungsoo, just say it, Jongin.” 

 

He watches the other jolt and stare across at him with wide eyes. 

 

“How-- _Never mind._ Yes, I wanted to-- uhm, I bumped into him at the mall the other day.” Jongin struggles through his speech before threading his fingers through his hair, messing them up. “How-- How is he?” He finally settles to ask this. 

 

“11 years you left him, and now you’re finally caring about his well-being?” Chanyeol snorts as waves of hostility finally makes itself known between them. 

 

Jongin feels as if all the air gets wiped out from his lungs. “I’m so--”

 

“Apologising won’t cut it, Jongin. Do you know what hell you’ve put him through? You are despicable. Really, you are.” The elder clenches his fist and hits the table with it. “I don’t even know why I’m here. Go back to your wife and leave Kyungsoo and I alone.”

 

“I don’t have a wife.” Jongin blurts. That revelation effectively halts Chanyeol from rising from his seat to leave. “I didn’t marry Minah.” He looks up at the other before hanging his head again. _How could I?_

 

It takes a really long time before anyone says a thing between them after that. 

 

“That doesn’t change anything.” Chanyeol fixes Jongin with a stare. 

 

 _It does change everything!_ The younger wants to add. Instead, he moves on. “Why-- Why does Kyungsoo not recognise me? That day at the mall… I could tell he wasn’t pretending to not know me. I know 11 years is a long time, especially since you two have been abroad as well, but I don’t think it justifies him not recognising his best friend--”

 

“Because Kim Jongin no longer exists in Kyungsoo’s memory.” Chanyeol says solemnly, causing Jongin’s mouth to fall open slightly.

 

“B-But what does that even mean? How can one just--”

 

“Have you heard of the Hanahaki disease, Jongin?” 

 

He pauses. “The one about the flowers right? Is that even real--”

 

“Has Kyungsoo ever given you flowers, Jongin?” Chanyeol cuts him off abruptly.

 

“Not that I can re--” The younger’s voice trails off and a look of horror grows on his face at the realisation. _Unless_. “There were these white flowers.” Jongin whispers and locks eyes with Chanyeol who sits wordlessly, silently expecting him to go on. _It can’t be, right?_ “When we were kids and we were playing at the playground--” He looks down at his trembling fingers and threads both his hands together. “There was a small white flower.” Jongin gulps. “I remember because that was the first ever gift Kyungsoo got me. I still have it framed and hung on my bedroom wall to this day. You don’t mean that right?” 

 

“Those flowers weren’t gifts but sadness personified, Jongin.” Chanyeol says grimly. “At what age did you two come to know each other?” He shoots a seemingly random question at the other. 

 

“I don’t know.” The latter scratches at his nape. “Maybe 10? It was the year my Dad switched jobs. Why do you ask?” Jongin frowns. 

 

“So Kyungsoo was 11 then? Hmm… interesting.” Chanyeol smiles to himself, leaving the other clueless as to where this will lead. 

 

“What’s interesting?” He asks.

 

“A theory” was all the elder lets on before his smile is replaced with a dead serious expression once more. “And?” The elder urges. “Kyungsoo and flowers.” He was actually subtly forcing Jongin to think back to all those times he had hurt Kyungsoo, to reflect on his mistakes. “That can’t just be it. Think harder. Throughout high school and college, did you see--”

 

Jongin shakes his head lightly. _I didn’t really pay attention when we were in school. Wait._ He blinks. That just amplified how much of a shitty best friend he was. Jongin sighs. 

 

There was one instance though -- one memory that also serves as a nightmare haunting him day in day out since he never did find closure after it happened. 

 

“The last time I saw any kind of flowers in association with Kyungsoo--” It was taking a lot of courage for him to raise this. “I-I s-saw white flowers covered in blood the day before my wedding that never happened.” Jongin says, hunching in on himself more. “I left him in his hotel room after I got so angry and confused because he kissed me.” He looks up at Chanyeol in desperation. “I went back after clearing my head, but he was long gone.” 

 

Jongin takes a long pause, as if remembering the horrors he had seen. “The whole bed and some parts of the floor too.” He fiddles with his fingers as his eyes start shifting. “There was just so much blood, and the flowers made it all the more confusing for me. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t know where else to go to find him…”

 

Chanyeol exhales deeply when Jongin waits for him to say something. He starts off with a “do you know why I didn’t show up at the wedding reception the next morning?” 

 

“I had assumed you left with Kyungsoo.” The younger comments. 

 

“That is correct.” Chanyeol nods. “I did leave with him. I _had_ to because he was dying, Jongin. And there was no one else there to help him.” The accusation behind the other’s words were heavy. “He was barely breathing when I found him in his room. Do you know how scared I was? I thought Kyungsoo wouldn’t make it.” 

 

Jongin feels all the blood drain from his face. His guilt was overbearing especially since he could recall flashes of memories of Kyungsoo begging him to stay, begging him to save him. 

 

But he walked away instead. 

 

“His disease… it was consuming him from the inside.” Chanyeol perseveres on while keeping a watchful eye on Jongin who was tapping his fingers on the table top uneasily. “His lungs were already clogged. The doctors had to operate to save him. But do you know what he said when he regained consciousness temporarily while we were transferring him to the operating theatre?”

 

Jongin pauses and looks up with wide eyes. 

 

 _You really don’t deserve his love._ Chanyeol sighs. “He begged everyone to not remove the flower in him because he wanted to keep a part of you with him.” The elder whispers. “Even in death, he was prepared for it.” 

 

Jongin squeezes his eyes shut and bows his head, praying he won’t shed tears in front of the other. But Chanyeol notices all the same.

 

“I couldn’t let him die. That’s why the doctors went ahead with the surgery, and that’s also the reason why Kyungsoo doesn’t remember you anymore.” The elder says. “Your very existence was lost on him.”

 

“How do I fix this then?” Jongin sniffles and looks towards Chanyeol. “I can’t accept this--”

 

“Let me ask you this first, Jongin.” The latter cuts him off. “Why didn’t you marry Minah then?” That question completely throws Jongin off. 

 

“I-I--” The younger struggles to find his words. Even after all these time. “I don’t know.” He admits and shrugs at Chanyeol. “Just-- something didn’t feel right the next morning.” Jongin says. “I thought I was ready to settle down with Minah, but my heart wasn’t in it after what happened with Kyungsoo so I had to put it off. I can’t quite explain it.” He frowns.

 

“Did you love him maybe? You two were so close in the past.” 

 

Jongin presses his lips into a thin line. “I didn’t know if what I felt for him was _love_ love -- you know what I mean.” He admits finally. “But there were definitely times when I felt we had more.” 

 

“Sounds a lot like love to me.” 

 

“Well, I know that now.” Jongin says. “But it’s too late isn’t it? He doesn’t love me anymore.” 

 

“Why don’t you pursue him this time instead?” Chanyeol urges the younger. “Kyungsoo deserves every happiness, and if you are to him what I think you are, then I wish you the very best. But please don’t hurt him again or I will have to kill you for real.” 

 

“What I am to him?” Jongin frowns and cocks his head. “I don’t quite get what you mean by that.”

 

Chanyeol’s lips curl up into a small smile slowly, but he remains silent. The elder has always had the odd tendency to leave his thoughts drifting, so Jongin doesn’t pay his words much mind. 

 

“It took me losing him to conclude how dear I really hold him in my heart, but he doesn’t remember me, us, anymore... I don’t even know where to begin--”

 

“It’s simple, isn’t it?” Chanyeol says and smiles kindly. “Perhaps it’s time _you_ be the one to give Kyungsoo flowers instead.”

❀❀❀

“I don’t suppose the word _giving up_ is in your dictionary?” Kyungsoo sighs but ultimately settles down on the opposite side of the booth. “Whatever. I suppose I can earn a meal out of this. Can I get steak?” He looks up expectantly.

 

“Okay!” Jongin nods enthusiastically before raising his hand to call for the attention of the waiters. “Here. For you.” He then pushes a bouquet of flowers across the table shyly. 

 

Kyungsoo studies the other closely before picking up the gift. 

 

“For something so hopeless, you’re trying too hard, you know that?” 

 

“It’s because I didn’t try at all that we are in this situation.” Jongin gives him a smile, but even Kyungsoo sees it lacks the other’s usual positiveness. That comment has pulled on the elder’s curiosity and he can’t help but think back to all those claims Jongin had made about them -- that they had been best of friends; that he had loved him dearly. 

 

 _If it’s true -- if we really do know each other, how come I’m the only one who doesn’t remember?_ Kyungsoo turns away from Jongin to stare out the window. He supposes it has something to do with his accident more than a decade back; those blurry, barely lucid days after he had woken from his coma. 

 

“You shouldn’t get me forget me not flowers next time. They’re not my favourite.” He says distractedly. 

 

Jongin stills for a second in (pleasant) shock before he beams, “Okay!” just in time for the food to arrive. 

 

Kyungsoo ignores the giant elephant in the room that is his change in attitude towards the other and picks up his cutleries. “Let’s eat?” He doesn’t wait for a reply to start. 

 

“Okay!” Jongin taps his feet on the floor excitedly and digs in too. He looks up halfway through a forkful of steak and finds the meat sweeter than any he has ever tasted when he sees the edges of Kyungsoo’s lips curl up.

❀❀❀

It’s arduous and most times depressing -- his journey to win back Kyungsoo’s friendship and love. Some days he takes a step forward, others he gets knocked down a few pegs.

 

Thankfully, the elder seems to rather enjoy hanging out with Jongin because of all their synced interests. _“It’s part of the soulmate connection I tell you!” Chanyeol always insists._ And 1 month down, it’s almost like the pair has returned to how they were in the past. 

 

“I’m at your door now, are you not home yet?” Kyungsoo scowls and kicks at the hard surface in front of him. 

 

“Sorry, sorry! I got held up by traffic.” Jongin pants into the receiver, no doubt in the midst of rushing back as they speak. “Why don’t you let yourself in? I’ll be there in less than 5.” 

 

“Is this how you treat a guest who visits for the first time? Pizza’s on you, I don’t care.” 

 

“Don’t be ridiculous.” Jongin snorts, seeing through the elder’s intention to make him feel bad. Kyungsoo hears a drawn out noise of a car horn over the other end and winces. “I’m not late, you’re simply early. Besides, you were the one who begged me to do a Friends marathon.”

 

“What’s your password?” Kyungsoo ignores him and taps on the digital door lock. “What was that?” He repeats when all he heard was Jongin choking up over the phone. 

 

“-- I said it’s your birthday.” The younger’s voice trails off into a whisper because of how embarrassed he feels. Thankfully, Kyungsoo doesn’t say or ask more as he unlocks the door and finally steps over the threshold. 

 

“Okay, I’m in.” 

 

He walks to the kitchen to deposit the packs of beer he had brought with him after kicking off his shoes. 

 

“Make yourself at home. I’m just around the block now. Be there in a minute. Bye!” Jongin hangs up. 

 

Kyungsoo unwinds the scarf around his neck and takes off his jacket, throwing them rather carelessly on the couch in the living room. He looks around and finds himself smiling. Somehow, the hawthorne yellow of the surrounding walls reflect Jongin’s warmth and personality brilliantly. It really was quite a decent home, unlike his own minimalistic colour tones which always seemed to be lacking something more. 

 

Although, the space could also be considered a little messy -- Kyungsoo tsks at the food wrappers abandoned on the coffee table and helps the other dispose of them. 

 

One would think perhaps a 32-year old man would be more mature in cleaning up after himself. Alas, Jongin doesn’t seem to have grown up.

 

Bored with waiting, Kyungsoo decides to explore the rest of the apartment himself because Jongin had practically given him free reign to do so.

 

 _This must be where he practices._ He looks along the row of mirrors in the otherwise empty room and steps in. The younger has spoken of his fondness of dancing ever so often -- it’s a passion he still carries with him amidst his busy schedule as founder of a start-up. 

 

Kyungsoo walks up to a glass cabinet display at the far corner of the room and peeks in, only to find some honorary plaques, certificates and a very old photo. 

 

It’s him. 

 

Kyungsoo draws in a deep breath. 

 

That’s definitely him in the picture along with Jongin and Chanyeol. 

 

“So it’s true we know each other.” He whispers and crowds closer, so intrigued (and also a little weirded out) at the finding because all this time he has been dismissing Jongin’s claims that they were best friends. 

 

Kyungsoo wants to find out even more now why he can’t remember Jongin. 

 

 _Chanyeol._ He traces a finger on the glass. It’s been some time since he last met the elder -- both had simply been too caught up in their respective jobs upon return from the States. Kyungsoo wonders if Chanyeol knows why he can’t remember Jongin. 

 

He straightens up and leaves the room, making himself a promise to have dinner with the other one of these nights. 

 

Kyungsoo ventures down the hallway, a tad less enthusiastic this time; wondering what he could possibly find to make the weight at the pit of his stomach settle more. 

 

 _Oh._ He pauses when he opens the next door. From the unmade bed in the center of the room, it’s quite obvious that this is Jongin’s bedroom. Kyungsoo hesitates, unsure if he should intrude into the other’s personal space. 

 

It was the framed flower hanging on the wall above the headboard that finally pulls him in. 

 

After looking at it for a long minute, Kyungsoo rushes into the toilet and holds onto the toilet bowl tightly. He throws up.

❀❀❀

“Soo? I bought pizza so don’t kill me for being back later.” Jongin calls out the second he toed his shoes off. “Soo?” He frowns and walks further into his apartment when he gets no response from the said male.

 

 _Odd._ He could have sworn Kyungsoo had let himself in. “Kyung--”

 

The boxes of pizzas he was holding fall to the ground when he swings open his bedroom door. “Soo!” Jongin rushes in and scrambles onto his bed when he sees Kyungsoo crying his eyes out in the middle of it. “What’s wrong, Soo?” He squeezes his arms under the other’s neck and knees to haul him up, cradling the elder against his chest. 

 

“J-Jongin. Please. Help me. It hurts.” Kyungsoo begs through his sobs. 

 

Those words and the other’s tears -- It was a familiar scene; a nightmare that has bogged Jongin’s mind for 11 years. The younger feels all the blood in his face drain because it seemed like he had returned back to the day when he had broken off all ties with the man he loves. 

 

Except this time Kyungsoo wasn’t clutching at his chest, but his head. 

 

Jongin’s eyes shift around the area until he locks onto the framed flower half-buried under his mess of sheets. 

 

 _No._ Realisation hits him, and it hits him hard. “Kyungsoo.” The younger gasps and leans his face closer to the other’s. “Soo. Do you remember me?” His spare hand comes up to caress the crying man’s cheeks, who cries even harder with how intimate the action was.

 

“Please say you do. Please say you remembered how to love me too.” Jongin whispers while waiting patiently for any sort of response from Kyungsoo. 

 

Gradually, the latter’s crying reduces into occasional sniffles and he peers up at Jongin with wide, teary eyes. 

 

“I remember hurting so much, wondering if death felt any different.” Kyungsoo admits in a whisper. 

 

A tear falls from the corner of Jongin’s eyes and he hangs his head in shame. “I’m sorry. So sorry, S-Soo.” This time, the younger was the one crying and needing comfort. 

 

“Will you save me this time, Jongin? Will you not leave me please?” Kyungsoo crowds even closer to Jongin’s body if possible, and the latter hugs the other tighter. 

 

“Please let me make amends. I am so sorry for doing those horrible things. Please forgive me.” He squeezes his eyes shut and presses a kiss against Kyungsoo’s forehead, and the elder replies with a soft cry of part relief, part happiness.

 

“This is coming way too late, but I love you, Soo. Always had. I was a coward to face you and what we had back then.” Jongin lies down and tucks the other at his side. “I realise that now. My heart has long since decided for me. I can’t let you go again. It will destroy me. Those long years you disappeared overseas, and those long months we reunited only for you to not recognise me. I figured it was my retribution.”

 

Kyungsoo chooses not to say anything and the pair lies in comfortable silence, just listening to each other’s hearts beating through their chests. 

 

“So thank you for accepting me back.” The younger finally says after a short bout of time has passed.

 

“We have saved each other then.” Kyungsoo whispers, shuts his eyes and buries his nose on Jongin’s warm skin. 

 

He’s not sure for how long, but the latter remains awake to watch Kyungsoo fall asleep in his arms. Jongin knows it’s not the cleanest of conclusions, but it would have to do for now -- they would have to have a long talk after this, but remaining in each other’s embrace could be a clear indication of the outcome of their future relationship.

 

Being with each other just feels natural, like they were _meant to be_.

 

He shuts his eyes and follows after Kyungsoo into his dreams. 

 

It’s a happy one finally, after all his past nightmares. 

 

To the side, on the bedside drawer, the digital clock jumps to the next minute.

 

**11:11pm.**

**The soulmate theory.**  
_11 they meet. Another 11 they break. Another 11 they fall (in love)._

_You don’t find love, it finds you. It’s got a little bit to do with destiny, fate and what’s written in the stars._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Leave a comment if you like it and want to read more!


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